southerngayman

My Father now has a nurse-aid who comes three times a week and has been a godsend to the entire household. Wanda is a lovely, no nonsence African American woman in her late 50's with a tough exterior that hides a heart of gold. She has done wonders for my dad, who at first did not even want to let her in the house. When the agency informed us that there were no white aides available, he reluctantly relented, but I think he is secretly very happy with Wanda being here.

My mother is upset that our neighbor Virginia Owens asked her "why is your son mowing the lawn when you have that colored handyman living over the garage?"

Winn Dixie closed last week after the "super" wal-mart opened across the street. All these idiots in Valdosta think wal-mart is the greatest thing that ever happened to this town. They don't realize that it is killing the local shops.

Talked to my friend Wayne in NY today and got very envious and a little misty eyed when he went on about the upcoming Pet Shop Boys show at Radio City - everyone is going - it's going to be so fabulous!!! bla bla When he noticed I was upset he said "but you've got such a great thing going on down there - country air, little Tara, all those hot southern boys" if he only knew the truth about what our life has become!

Wayne had mentioned that the Pet Shop Boys might be playing the Fox Theatre in Atlanta but when I checked into it I found that some right wing christian group had got upset and convinced the Atlanta yokels that their children would be in danger if these fags came to town and had the show canceled. The Fox will now be hosting a show called "Jesus Jesus" on that night. I kid you not.

Labels: SUPER WAL MART

the past few weeks have brought back so many memories - I was born and raised in Valdosta - and spent the last 20 years trying to deny/forget that fact. The "education" I received in the Valdosta school system (our high school history taught "the war of northern aggression") did not meet the admission requirements of any northern colleges, so at 18 I caught a bus to NY and never looked back. Over the next few years I fought my way to the top of the Design World and eventually became the creative director of a major publication. Soon I was living the Chelsea life of fabulous niteclubs, hamptons weekends, and sunday brunches with my sophisticated, witty, gay friends.
now here I am in this Georgia redneck hell hole.....help!!!!

My parents were not crazy about the healthy dinner I prepared for them - they called it nigger food and complained that there was no meat - so Jorge and I offered to take them out. My folks favorite restaurant is The Oaks so that is where we went. I could see the shock on the hostess's face as we walked in with Jorge, who is a dark-skinned Latino but she pulled herself together and led us to a nice table in the back room. I tried to guide my parents to some of the lighter selections on the menu but they wound up ordering the smothered pork, fried mac and cheese, fried okra, hush puppies, and of course that southern staple.... fried green tomatoes. After we had all had pralines and key lime pie the surly waiter brought the check and I was shocked to see at the bottom in small letters "nigger". When I complained to the manager he tried to say that it was kitchen shorthand for hush puppies/green tomatoes...I don't know .... it didn't feel right.

Labels: SOUTHERN COOKING

of course they don't take debit cards at Winn Dixie so I had to use an atm in the store and paid a 2.50 fee to a bank called christian fellowship bank.

The grocery stores in valdosta suck!

I've realized that many of my parents health problems stem from their diet of southern food - everything is fried and swimming in grease - so I've taken over the shopping. Unfortunately, the only "supermarket" is the one with the oddly pro confederate army name - Winn Dixie. Apparently, the 70's 80's and 90's have not reached the south foodwise...

Italian...chef boyardee
asian...la choy in a can
yogurt...Winn Dixie brand ...chocolate chip ,bubblegum, butter pecan
arugula...no
heineken...pabst, bud
vegetables...canned

but there are aisles of cheetos, pork rinds, ding dongs, grape soda, moon pies - no wonder they're all so fat!

I asked a dim looking manager if Winn dixie carried tofu and he thought for a second and said "try the pet dept" . When I told him it was a white block of curdled soybeans he lit up and said"OH..., try the black section". The aisle he directed me to contained the largest section of white artery clogging items I had ever seen in a grocery store: fat back, lard, suet, renderings ???, ham hocks,snouts, tail...but, it also had the only fresh greens and vegetables in the store.

Labels: WINN DIXIE

As we pulled into my parents driveway all the nosey neighbors were looking. I told Jorge to duck down so they would'nt see "black" man entering the neighborhood - hispanics, jews and asians are still an oddity in the south - everyone is still black or white. Luckily, my parents have a garage apartment, so as we exited the car , I told Jorge to pretend to take his luggage there, knowing that the neighbors would be watching every move of the two men in the audi with ny plates. tomorrow we will say he my parents new handyman

for all my ny friends - sorry for the long time between posts - I've been trying to get a high speed connection for my laptop. Cablesouth has a monopoly down here and i've been trying to avoid doing business with them - they won't carry the Daily Show or LOGO - but they did have to relent on BET - too much money to lose I guess.

My partner and I had been together for five years when my parents became ill and not able to care for themselves. As we headed down 95, leaving the safety of our blue state bubble where our neighbors, employers, and friends shared our politics and were comfortable with our lifestyle we crossed the mason dixon line and entered the solid red of the south. As the NPR station began to fade, and knowing there wasn't another untill Miami, I flipped between country music and hellfire preachers before finally turning off the radio and putting in the new Rufus Wainwright CD.

As we exited I-95 and hit the local roads of Georgia the change became immediatly apparent - every other billboard was either promoting the joy of jesus or railing against abortion or gay marriage. On the interstate we had been able to fill up at modern, debit card accepting gas stations which had the advantage of being anonymous, but on the southern backroads, we could only find the old fashioned rusty pumps where you have to pay inside after pumping. Judging the situation, I told my partner Jorge to stay in the car and let me take care of everything, which he did begrudgingly. As I walked into the filthy store to pay, I noticed a poster promoting an upcoming klan rally, so it did'nt suprise me when the toothless cashier asked menacingly "not from around here, are ya'll? "Just passin thru" I said in my best fake southern accent , paid the bill, and walked to the car, feeling his steely eyes on me.

Labels: KLAN RALLY - WELCOME TO GEORGIA